


late one night

by plutoxyz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutoxyz/pseuds/plutoxyz
Summary: Lance comes to Keith for help, and Keith is forced to reveal a truth a he has kept secret for a very long time.





	1. late one night

Keith was surprised to hear the knock at his door, and was even more surprised to hear Lance calling from the other side.  
"Keith? Are you here?"  
He leapt from his bed, hurrying to tidy up, throwing clothing under his bed and into his cupboard. When he was satisfied that his room was clean enough for guests, he opened the door.  
"Lance, what a surprise! To what do I owe this pleasure?" His voice was layered with disinterest in order to mask the fact that Keith was actually happy to have Lance there.  
Instead of replying with his own snarky comment, Lance simply nodded, shifting from foot to foot. Keith had the sudden uneasy feeling that something was awfully wrong. He gestured for Lance to come inside. He silently shuffled past Keith, the door closing behind him.  
"Are you ok?" Keith winced at the emotion that escaped on his voice, but he was too worried to care.  
In response, Lance just nodded again, his movements small and awkward, a stark contrast to his usual loud and vibrant self. This action only served to fuel Keith's concern.  
"Lance, what's wrong?" Keith took a step towards him, and Lance shook his head. Keith could have sworn he saw tears in his eyes.  
"I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea." He moved to leave, but Keith blocked his exit. Lance wanted to feel angry, wanted to say something clever and insulting, like he usually would, but he simply couldn't. Instead, he slumped his shoulders, his eyes focused on the ground. "Lance, talk to me."  
Something about the concern in Keith's voice made Lance want to tell him everything, every dark and awful thought in his head, but he refrained.  
Lance's voice was incredibly quiet when he spoke.  
"Sometimes…sometimes I feel like…"  
Keith nodded encouragingly, gesturing for him to go on. Lance shook his head, and tried a different approach.  
"Did you…did you really not know who I was?" Lance's voice wavered as he spoke, his head still bowed, eyes trained on his feet.  
Keith focused his gaze intently on Lance, his eyes asking questioning.  
"What?"  
Lance shifted uncomfortably, refusing to meet Keith's eyes.  
"When we met again, saving Shiro…when this whole mess started…did you really only remember me as "a cargo pilot"?"  
Keith suddenly realised what Lance was referring to, and internally cursed himself. The truth, the one Keith had been trying to ignore for what felt like an eternity, was that he had remembered Lance from the Garrison, had remembered every single fine detail. He had remembered what he looked like, the colour of his eyes, the way his hair fell- all the small, simple things that he had noted while he was there; because he had had a maddening crush on him- and it hadn't seemed to go away, no matter how hard he had tried. He chuckled darkly as he thought this, knowing how completely ridiculous such a thing was. Lance's reaction when he had seen him again- talking of their rivalry, calling Keith his enemy- had only confirmed that something so foolish was not a possibility. Even so, Keith continued to watch Lance a little too closely, to smile a little too widely, even now.  
When he heard Keith's laughter, Lance looked up, a hurt expression plastered on his face. "Do you find this funny?" His voice was rough and razor-sharp, his gaze piercing. The anger only lasted moments, however, and quickly dissolved into silent tears that cascaded down Lance's cheeks and gathered at his chin.  
Keith realised his mistake, shaking his head furiously as he took a step towards the other boy. He rested a hand on Lance's shoulder, his eyes boring into his. Lance diverted his gaze, Keith's intense stare becoming too much for him to hold.  
"Lance." Keith's voice was barely even a whisper, impossibly soft, as if anything louder might shatter Lance where he stood. "Lance, look at me."  
When Lance refused to turn his head, Keith grasped his chin, his fingers incredibly gentle, and forced his eyes to meet his.  
Keith swallowed nervously, all thought lost in the impossibly deep ocean of Lance's eyes. He stood there for what felt like an eternity, simply trying to find his way out of the blue. Their bodies were close, almost touching, Keith's fingers still softly gripping Lance's chin.  
"Keith?" Lance's voice dragged Keith back into reality, finally able to find his way out.  
The expression of worry that Lance wore on his face made Keith smile- a weak, sorrowful smile, but a smile all the same. It returned the strength he needed to go through with this. He feels that worry for you. He cares about you.  
He took a steady step back from Lance. Now it was his time to intently study the floor.  
Lance held his hand out to Keith, his gaze heavy with questions. "Keith…?"  
The smile never left Keith's lips as he spoke. "Of course I remembered you, Lance," He laughed weakly. "How could anyone forget you?"  
Lance's expression shifted from questioning to pure confusion, not yet understanding what he was being told. "Then why did you-"  
"-because you hated me, Lance. You told me I was your enemy…"  
Lance's face flooded with colour as he recalled the memory. He had never really felt that way about Keith, but jealousy can sometimes make you do and say things you later regret.  
"I didn't mean-"  
"No, Lance. You told me that, and I knew you meant it. After that…how was I supposed to tell you…" Keith fell silent, his mouth sealing shut and his eyes squeezing closed.  
"Tell me what?" Lance's voice was thick with concern and urgency. "Keith, tell me what?"  
Keith shook his head, his movements stiff, almost robotic. Lance's worried expression melted away, leaving him vulnerable and exposed.  
"Thanks for trying to help, Keith." A fresh wave of tears slipped down Lance's cheeks as he shoved past Keith and made for the door. He wiped furiously at the drops on his face, cursing himself for allowing anyone to see him in this state.  
Keith drew in a shuddering breath, steadying himself. He understood the weight of the words he was about to say, and it scared him- really, truly scared him. But he cared about Lance, and he knew that he needed to hear this.  
"How was I supposed to tell you…"  
Lance stopped when he heard Keith speak, turning to face him, his gaze expectant. Keith heaved another breath.  
"…that I liked you."  
A sudden realisation dawned on Lance, yet he still refused to believe the truth he was being told.  
"…what?"  
Keith's head snapped up, his piercing gaze fixed on Lance.  
"What? What do you mean "what"? I cared about you, Lance. I do care about you, goddammit. No matter how many times I tell myself that I'm supposed to be your rival, that I'm supposed to hate you, I just…can't. And on that first day, when you asked if I remembered you…I couldn't say yes. I thought I could forget what I felt but it's so hard. And I still feel it. I can't stop feeling it. Do you understand how painful-"  
Keith fell silent as Lance flung himself at him, his arms coiling around his neck, their lips colliding. Keith staggered backwards, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening. All too slowly, he reacted, his arms snaking around Lance's back, pulling him closer, as if he might slip away if he didn't hold him close enough.  
They stood there, bodies and lips pressed together, for an eternity. Keith savoured the feel of Lance's arms around his neck, the warmth of his body, the taste of his lips, and when they pulled apart, he missed it immediately.  
A comically brilliant grin split Lance's face, his breaths quick and shallow. A smile also played on Keith's lips as he lent over, hands on knees, running his fingers through his hair.  
"I didn't know you were…?" Keith let the question hang in the air, his voice rough and breathless, and also immensely happy. He attempted to mask the extreme, dumb joy he was feeling, to no avail.  
Lance shrugged, the usual smirk that he wore daily returning to his lips. "There's a lot you don't know about me."  
Keith raised his eyebrows, Lance's grin widening, making Keith flush a deep scarlet. He cleared his throat, attempting to regain control of his own thoughts, but they were too consumed by finally kissing Lance. He hadn't realised how furiously he had wanted it before it happened.  
"Well, one thing I do know about you is that you're a great kisser." Keith's voice wavered violently as he spoke, but even so, Lance's face flooded with red, feeling incredibly flustered. He coughed awkwardly.  
"You too."  
And just like that, Keith's lips were back on Lance's, this kiss hungrier and more passionate than the previous one. Slipping his fingers into Lance's hair, Keith dipped him back, and Lance coiled his arms around Keith's neck.  
They remained like this as long as they could- Keith's fingers entwined in Lance's hair, Lance's back arched and his arms around Keith's neck- before they needed to part for air. Lance's hair was a mess, and Keith's jacket had slipped from his shoulders, and they were both panting heavily, but both wore brilliant smiles.  
Keith took a seat on his bed, gesturing for Lance to sit beside him. Lance nodded, perching beside him. Neither spoke, either because they wished not to spoil the moment, or because neither had enough breath to say anything. They simply sat in silence, still wearing the same animated smiles, inhaling deeply.  
Keith finally spoke, shattering the blissful silence.  
"How are you feeling?"  
Lance chuckled lightly, turning to face Keith, his smile unfaltering.  
"I'm feeling better. Thank you." His voice was laced with happiness, a golden thread running through his words.  
Keith lent forwards, catching Lance's lips with his, quickly pulling away. A deep red blossomed on Lance's cheeks.  
"Lance, talk to me."  
So, he did. Lance told Keith all that he was thinking, all his secrets and insecurities, and in turn, Keith told Lance his. They spoke throughout the entire night, sometimes pausing to bring their lips together, only to break apart and keep talking.  
Eventually, they grew tired. Keith insisted that Lance stay there with him, and the result was them laying together, Keith on his back and Lance on his side with his arm draped across Keith's chest. They slept in this position, and it was the best sleep either had had in a very long time.  
-  
Pidge returned to her room after a late-night trip to the castle's kitchen, her stomach content and her eyes heavy. She slumped into her chair and pulled up her tablet. Unbeknownst to the other paladins, she had installed tiny video cameras into their clothing, and she often enjoyed checking in on them. It was always good entertainment, and was sometimes a way to find out those things that she wasn't supposed to know. Pidge found that it was always useful to know things about people.  
First, she checked the camera she had placed in Lance's set of pyjamas. He could usually be found doing something unusual and just straight hilarious- there had been many occasions that she had watched him dancing around his room singing karaoke, or pretending he was a beauty guru and narrating his skincare routine.  
Tonight however, all she saw in the feed was a dark and empty room, and she realised that Lance hadn't even changed into his pyjamas yet, which was extremely unusual, considering how much the boy loved his beauty sleep. She flicked through the other channels- Hunk, Allura and Coran were sound asleep, as they usually were at this hour. Shiro was still up, and training. Pidge shook her head and sighed- it was as if the man never slept, and simply worked out whenever he wasn't fighting. Perhaps that metal arm of his simply didn't let him sleep.  
Finally, she flicked to Keith, whose camera was located on the collar of his jacket. At this time of night, Keith was usually asleep, or otherwise polishing his various knives, with his jacket hung by his bed. Tonight, however, the image was very different- Keith's jacket had obviously been discarded and was on the floor, the camera pointing up at a slight angle. Pidge leaned forwards on her chair, trying to make sense of what she was seeing on her screen. She could see Keith, standing in the middle of his room, his arms wrapped around someone. Pidge's eyebrows escaped up beneath her fringe, a low whistle emanating from her lips.  
"Woww. Keith's been busy. I didn't even know he had a girlfr-"  
Pidge's tablet fell from her hands, colliding roughly with the floor as she leapt back, tipping her chair and almost falling herself. She retrieved her tablet, studying the image on the screen to ensure she hadn't been mistaken. She hadn't. She recognised the person in Keith's room, the one he had been kissing, and her mouth fell open.  
"Keith…and Lance?"


	2. the next morning, part 1

Light streamed in beneath the bedroom door, illuminating the room in the soft glow of day. Lance stirred, the sudden brightness gently drawing him out of his bottomless slumber. He opened his eyes, blinking groggily against the harsh light. As his eyes adjusted, he took in his surroundings; a room he didn’t recognise, immaculately clean and organised, a stark contrast to the usual mess of his own room. The steady inhale and exhale of someone beside Lance reminded him where he was, and suddenly, as if a floodgate had been opened, the events of the previous night poured into Lance’s memory. The room he saw, the bed he was in, the steady rhythm of a heartbeat he could feel on his back, all belonged to Keith.  
Lance smiled. He savoured each sensation, the feeling of Keith’s breath on his neck, the weight of his arm draped over the blue paladin’s chest, the way that their bodies fit perfectly, like puzzle pieces, pressed together.  
Lance felt Keith shift against him, drawing Lance closer to his chest. He rolled over so that the paladins were now face to face. Lance pressed a tired kiss to Keith’s lips, a playful smile splitting his face.  
“Keith, I am definitely the big spoon, okay?” All the times that Lance had pictured this moment, it had been him with his arm draped across Keith, and he’d be damned if he ended up as the little spoon in this relationship.  
Keith, barely awake enough to comprehend what was happening, nodded, pulled Lance towards him, and pressed their lips together. This elicited a soft sigh from the blue paladin, who simply melted into Keith’s embrace.  
They lay like this, seemingly for hours, chest to chest, face to face. Their heartbeats found the same rhythm, their breath mingling. The warmth they provided each other would have been enough to sustain them for a lifetime- if they had not been interrupted.  
First, they heard footsteps, a fair distance away. Neither allowed this to disturb them. Soon after, a knocking rang out down the hall, followed by a door opening. Softly, as if from very far away, someone called “Lance!”  
Lance stirred, shifting against Keith, whose arms were holding too tight to allow for much movement at all.  
Another cry sounded, closer this time. Lance recognised the gruff voice as Shiro’s, which sparked a sudden sense of panic in the paladin. Lance’s eyes shot open, only to find the endless night of Keith’s staring back at him.  
Shiro called once again, his footsteps echoing across the walls, stopping just outside Keith’s door. His shadow crawled beneath the crack and into the room, seemingly taunting the two boys.  
Keith drew in a shuddering breath, abruptly pulling back from Lance. The sudden distance and cold that overcame them left the two temporarily paralysed, however they were suddenly thrust back into action when a knock sounded at the door.  
“Keith, are you up?”  
Lance started at Keith helplessly, his brain thrown into overdrive. Keith’s mind simply emptied.  
“Have you seen Lance?”  
Lance silently gestured towards the door, desperately willing Keith to respond to Shiro’s inquiry. Confusion briefly flitted across Keith’s face, followed by a relieved understanding.  
He quickly replied – “Hang on, Shiro!”- before jumping to his feet and pulling on his jacket, which still lay discarded on his bedroom floor.  
“Keith? Can I come in?”  
Another surge of panic rose up in Keith’s chest. He frantically glanced around the room, searching for anything that may offer a solution. Lance remained perched on the bed, his hair and clothes awfully dishevelled.  
“Keith?”  
His eyes finally rested on the space beneath his bed, which was definitely large enough or the blue paladin to squeeze into.  
“Get under the bed!” Keith hissed, his voice frayed with panic and urgency.  
Lance nodded in recognition, pulling on his own jacket which had apparently fallen off overnight. He slipped out of the bed, furiously trying to keep his footsteps light and delicate, so as not to alert Shiro of his presence.  
“Keith? Are you okay?”  
Keith’s head whipped towards the door, which he knew could burst open at any moment.  
“Coming, Shiro!”  
Keith took a step towards the door. His legs shook violently, adrenaline and panic still coursing through his veins. Drawing in a steadying breath, he attempted another step, which almost sent him crashing to the floor.  
Suddenly, Keith felt something grab him from behind. He was thrust back into Lance’s embrace, their lips colliding. Keith felt his knees buckle beneath him, but no longer due to the immense panic he had felt before.  
Lance pulled away, tracing his finger across Keith’s cheek.  
“Go get ‘em, tiger.” Lance’s voice dripped with a fondness that Keith didn’t recognise, flooding his body with warmth and flushing his cheeks a bright crimson. His face broke into a brilliant grin.  
“Okay, get under to bed.” Lance cocked a suggestive eyebrow, which Keith dismissed with a quick gesture. Reaching his hands up, he offered Keith a reassuring squeeze of his shoulders. Lance nodded determinedly, his own animated beam reflecting Keith’s.  
He crouched beside the bed and expertly contorted himself to fit beneath it, a skill he had acquired through many rounds of hide-and-seek played with his brothers and sisters.  
Keith turned to face the menacing shadow reaching beneath his door. He drew in a breath, his mouth still split into a dumb grin.  
“Keith?”  
He took a step towards the door, which occasionally trembled beneath Shiro’s pounding.  
“Keith? I’m coming in.”  
Keith reached the door, his hand closing around the knob. He took a final breath before turning the handle, revealing Shiro’s concerned expression behind it. Keith managed to calm his features into his usual bored expression before he spoke.  
“Jeez Shiro, what time is it?”  
Shiro’s gaze turned quizzical.  
“Keith, it’s late. Everyone else is already up.”  
Panic flooded Keith again, internally begging that Shiro couldn’t see through his façade.  
“I came through to get Lance up- he’s a really heavy sleeper-”  
An understanding smile drifted across Keith’s lips as he recalled Lance’s deep slumber.  
“-but he wasn’t in his room. You haven’t seen him, have you?”  
Keith shook his head, furiously trying to keep his expression neutral.  
“He’s probably playing some video game. Or doing one of his beauty treatment things.” Keith laced as much distaste into his voice as he could muster, hoping it would be enough to convince Shiro.  
Fortunately, Shiro just nodded, satisfied with this response.  
“Okay, just come out for lunch soon.” And with that, Shiro turned away, his footsteps echoing as he walked away. Keith had succeeded. He let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, letting the door fall closed behind him as he trudged back to his bed. Lance was busily unfolding himself from beneath the bed.  
Keith collapsed onto the sheets, Lance falling into place beside him. They turned to peer at each other, both paladins grinning furiously, knowing they had just evaded being caught.  
“You did it,” Lance muttered, his voice hoarse and exasperated.  
“Yeah,” Keith sighed. “I did.”  
Suddenly, Keith’s expression darkened, sorrow flooding his face. Lance registered the shift, his eyes growing worried.  
“Keith?”  
The red paladin peered at Lance solemnly, his gaze wanting, desiring. He sighed, the sound full of a sadness that starkly contrasted the giddy joy he had felt before. He turned to the boy beside him- the same boy he had known and loved for years, who he had kissed and held in his arms, who he had shared a bed with just the night before, and with sorrow he had rarely felt before, said:  
“What are we going to do, Lance?”  
-  
Pidge watched as Shiro wandered into the kitchen, his eyes weary and confused. She found his gaze, and he shook his head.  
“He wasn’t in Keith’s room, Pidge. But thanks for the suggestion.”  
She nodded, lifting and dropping her shoulders in a gesture as if to say “oh, well”.  
Pidge returned to the chore that currently required her attention, elbow deep in water and soap bubbles.  
Hunk piped up behind her, busying himself with lunch preparations.  
“I don’t know why he would be. Those two don’t really… get along.”  
Suppressing a knowing smirk, Pidge nodded in agreement, along with Shiro. They continued in silence, Pidge cleaning dishes, which Hunk required for the delicious meal he would be serving.  
When the final dish was clean and dry, Pidge emptied to sink, shaking her hands in an attempt to dry them. Her efforts were fruitless, and she was ordered by Hunk to “take her wet hands elsewhere.” She grumbled a snarky response, deciding to head to the bathroom for a towel.  
As Pidge slipped stealthily down the hall, she heard hushed voices spilling from behind Keith’s door. She smiled wickedly, recognising Lance’s voice even behind a closed door. Sighing dramatically, Pidge continued on her way, clicking her tongue as she walked.  
“Well, you boys are in trouble.”


	3. the next morning, part 2

Lance's body became very still, rigid, his heart pounding in his ears. The pain, the regret that he had heard in Keith's voice, spilling from each word, was enough to make all his limbs seize up and his blood run cold. His eyes glazed over, refusing to focus on anything in particular.  
"What?" Lance's voice was barely audible, trembling.  
"What are we going to do? We clearly can't tell anyone on the team, and we're clearly not going to be able to keep it secret for long."  
At these words, Lance felt something inside him shatter, and his body lurched violently. He felt nauseous, almost as if he might be sick. Keith caught him roughly as he began to fall, slipping off the edge of the bed.  
"Lance? Lance, are you ok?"  
Lance didn't know why he was reacting this way, almost entirely against his own will. It was unnatural for him to do this after a breakup- as if this even counted as a breakup. Lance and Keith were never together, except for that one night, that one glorious, perfect night. And it wasn't as if Lance's feelings for Keith really ran that deep- through his veins, throughout his entire body, to the tips of his fingers and the tips of his toes. It dawned on him suddenly that maybe, just maybe, he did feel more for Keith than anyone before him, but he chose to bury this realisation among many other things.  
Keith’s arms were still wrapped around Lance's middle, fighting a losing battle to keep him on the bed. He jerked back abruptly, pulling Lance with him so that he was now pressed firmly against his chest. Keith ran a gentle finger across the blue paladin's cheek, and Lance was horrified to discover that a few tears had escaped his eyes. He wiped at them furiously.  
"Lance." Keith's voice was impossibly soft, a new fondness spilling into his tone. "Are you ok?"  
Lance drew in a shuddering breath and nodded, before changing his mind and shaking his head.  
"I don't know," he sighed, his head falling onto Keith's shoulder. "I just...I just..."  
Keith wrapped his arms tighter around Lance, propping his chin on his head. Lazily, he stroked Lance's back, sending an electric pulse through the blue paladin. They remained like this until Lance's body stopped trembling and he stopped hyperventilating.  
Keith continued to run his fingers up and down Lance's spine, making him feel alive with electricity.  
When he was ready to speak, Lance pushed away from Keith's chest, catching his hand and knitting their fingers together. Keith watched his movements fondly, smiling at the way Lance fiddled awkwardly with his fingers.  
Lance finally lifted his gaze to meet Keith's, stubborn tears still prickling at the corners of his eyes.  
"I just don't want this to end, Keith."  
A sudden rush of panic flooded Keith. It seemed that he had already forgotten what he had said earlier, and he deeply regretted it- it was apparent that in the past few moments, watching Lance, holding him, reassuring him, Keith had managed to fall even harder for the boy.  
"I mean, it's barely started, but I…I want to see where it could go." Lance stumbled over his words, and once he had finally managed to string together a coherent sentence, he just stopped, plunging the room into silence. He dipped his head, staring at his fingers, which were still laced with Keith's.  
"Me, too." Lance's head shot up, his eyes searching Keith's face for any sign of dishonesty, but the only thing he was a fondness that made his breath hitch. In a sudden flurry of courage, Lance pulled Keith's head to his, their lips pressing harshly together. The paladins melted into the kiss, their bodies piecing together so correctly, so perfectly it hardly seemed possible.  
When they finally broke apart, they couldn't bear to lose the other's warmth, so they simply sat with their foreheads pressed together, panting slightly from the lack of air. Both reflected the others dumb grin, their hand still looped around the other's neck.  
"Ok," was all that Lance managed to say, his mind having been wiped clean from the feeling of Keith's body on his.  
"Ok," Keith agreed, nodding his head softly against Lance's.  
Lance fell backwards onto the bed, dragging Keith with him so that it was now Lance cuddling Keith into his chest.  
"I told you I was the big spoon," Lance muttered triumphantly. Keith responded with a simple nod that tickled Lance's chin with his wisps of hair. The blue paladin hummed at the feeling of Keith moving against him, feeling his warmth shift against his body. He felt his eyes fall closed, the soft whispers of sleep tempting him.  
"We can't tell anyone, though," Lance slurred. "I'm not exactly out yet….and I'd prefer not to get into that right now…"  
From somewhere in the depths of sleep, Lance felt Keith's body tense against him. In an effort to relax him, Lance drew him closer. His attempt was met with resistance, and Lance felt Keith sit up beside him. Pulling himself out of the temptation of sleep, Lance managed to push himself up as well.  
"Are you ok?"  
Keith's eyes were wide with realisation, and he shook his head vigorously. He scurried out of bed, scanning the room for his jacket, which he realised he already had on.  
"Keith, what's up?" Lance's voice grew panicky, and he felt the nauseous feeling return.  
Keith looked over at Lance and, upon noticing the same anxious expression on his face, walked up to him and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead. This seemed the calm Lance slightly, but he was still extremely confused about Keith's sudden burst of action.  
"Before, when Shiro came in, he told me to come out for lunch. I don't know how long it's been, but they'll probably be expecting me soon," Keith spoke softly, gently, his voice like velvet on Lance's skin. He felt a shiver spark across his spine.  
Keith grasped Lance's hand, pulling him into a tight embrace. Knowing full well that they would soon have to face the other paladins, together, but not together, they held onto each other desperately. Neither knew how difficult it would be to not only be apart, but to have to act as if they despised each other.  
Finally, Keith drew in a steadying breath and pushed away from Lance. He studied Lance closely, cupping his cheek and tracing the lines of his face with his thumb. Lance felt his face heat.  
"You have…a very nice face," Keith muttered, his voice sounding very far away. Lance's eyes grew wide, the compliment making his face flush an even darker crimson. He snorted, a sound that would be unattractive to anyone but Keith. Keith suddenly looked very startled.  
"What…? What did I say?"  
Lance smiled softly. "Nothing. Just…maybe leave to flirting to me."  
Keith returned Lance's smile, his expression full of an emotion Lance didn't quite recognise.  
"Ok, time to go." Keith drew back his shoulders, puffing out his chest as if that could make this any easier. He started towards the door, then paused, turning back to Lance.  
"It might be better if…" he trailed off, not wishing to finish the sentence. Instead, he gestured towards to door. Lance nodded stiffly, deciding it was probably best he wasn't found in Keith's room after he had left. Combing down his hair with his fingers, he took several steps towards the door, the hallway, and the other paladins, where he would have to pretend that he hated the very same person he had spent the night with. He sighed, drew himself up, and squared his shoulders, preparing to face whatever was beyond that door.  
"Wait!" he heard Keith say harshly. Lance turned, and was surprised to find Keith launching himself at him, their lips colliding harshly. He stumbled backwards, his back hitting the closed door behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. They tangled themselves in each other, fingers in hair and arms around necks and legs around waists.  
They parted slowly, painfully. Lance looked at Keith, and when he saw the happy-dumb grin that split the red paladins face, he knew they would be ok- even if the entire world were to find out tomorrow, they would be ok.  
Lance reached behind him for the knob and opened the door, all the while still staring into Keith's eyes. Even as he stepped out into the hallway, he didn't look away. It seemed he had gotten lost in there, and wasn't even trying to navigate his way out. Only when the door fell closed behind him did he finally realise what had happened, and that he was now standing in the middle of the open hallway, in front of Keith's room, with the most obvious, love-struck smile on his face.  
Lance's body suddenly flooded with adrenaline, spilling out from his veins. He quickly gained his composure and turned in the direction of his room. His was the furthest down the hall, and the closest to the bathroom, which was very convenient for his regular beauty routines.  
As he neared his room, Lance heard footsteps coming towards him. He stiffened, trying to act casual as he rounded the corner and-  
"Pidge!" he cried, his voice far too high and jumpy to be natural. Understandably, she stumbled backwards, Lance's sudden outburst having frightened her considerably. She peered up at him with a shocked expression, which quickly melted into something rather mischievous.  
"Why hello, Lance," Pidge chuckled, adjusting her glasses as she did so. Something about her tone made something stir in the pit of Lance's stomach. It sounded almost as if she knew…He discarded the thought quickly, convincing himself that there was no way she could know what had happened. Pidge took his awkwardness only as more proof of what had occurred. She sidled past him, still smiling wickedly.  
"Will you be joining us for lunch?" Pidge plastered on an expression of fake innocence, batting her eyelashes comically. "Keith will be there."  
Too late, Lance registered what she had said and scoffed loudly, too loudly. "Why would I care if Keith's gonna be there?" His tone was a terrible impersonation of his usual voice.  
Pidge just shrugged as she strode down the hall.  
Panic seized Lance as he continued to his room, however by the time he was safely behind the door he had managed to ease his worries. After all, there was absolutely no way Pidge could know anything about what had happened between him and Keith.


	4. lunch time

Keith watched helplessly as the door closed slowly, painfully, between him and Lance, plunging the room into a deafening silence. He tipped forwards, his arms colliding harshly with the closed door. The impact reverberated through his entire body. Giving in to gravity, he let his knees crash onto the floor, causing a pain he was too numb to feel.  
Now that Lance had left, he felt an emptiness, and he realised that from this moment forward, he was alone- alone in leaving his room, alone in the hallway, alone in facing the others and having to act as if everything is normal, usual, regular, the same as it had been the previous day. At least until tonight. Keith let a delicate smile grace his lips at the thought of another night with Lance in his bed, maybe a night of him in Lance’s. He let the memory of Lance’s body on his consume him wholly, let it spill into his veins and destroy any sense of dread or doubt.  
Grabbing the doorknob, Keith pulled himself off the floor, steadying himself with a few quick breaths. He turned the knob slowly, calmly, before stepping out into the hallway. Although just a step, it felt as if he had moved a great distance, as if he had reached a great milestone in his journey to the kitchen, to the other paladins. Squaring his shoulders, Keith smiled to himself, feeling a sense of great accomplishment blossom in his chest. Only moments ago, this had felt impossible, and now he was standing out in the hallway, beyond the safety and sanctuary of his room. He was here, and he was fine.  
The door clicked shut behind him, drawing him out of his internal monologue and back into reality. Keith suddenly realised that he was just standing, frozen, before his closed bedroom door, and how strange such an image would appear if anyone happened to be wandering the halls. Hurriedly, Keith collected his thoughts, shoving them into the furthest corners of his mind (particularly those about a certain blue paladin that refused to be put away). He straightened his jacket, adjusted his gloves, and took off down the hall, his stride a bit too long and his pace a bit too fast. Only when he reached the entrance to the kitchen did he slow down and allow his mind a moment to catch up with his body. He doubled over, panting, hands on knees, panic washing over his entire being.  
Keith stayed like this for several minutes, hoping that Lance would walk up behind him, place a hand on the small of his back, and whisper soft reassurances in his ear. Then he would seize Keith’s chin delicately between his fingers, and press their lips together, before pushing him into the kitchen to face the other paladins. In that case, his mind would be too hazy, too full of Lance to even allow room for the dread he felt coursing through his body now.  
But the rational part of his brain knew that he would have to do this alone. It was commonplace for Lance to miss a meal occasionally (Keith dreaded those days when Lance would shut himself in his room. He always felt the overwhelming desire to console the blue paladin, to embrace him and shower him with reassurance and encouragement. Now, he realised, he finally could.), however Keith had never done so. In fact, the red paladin was usually the most punctual, aside from Shiro- the first to arrive and the first to leave. His tardiness was already incredibly out of character, and cause for suspicion. He hoped that his delay and Lance’s absence were not enough for the others to suspect anything had happened. There was one paladin in particular who possessed the brains to put two and two together and figure out that the occurrences were linked. But surely she had been here, with Hunk and Shiro, or else fiddling with some computer in her room. She had no reason to think that he and Lance had been together last night and this morning, no evidence to support any suspicion she may have.  
Having finally convinced himself that no one could possibly know, Keith straightened and reached for the handle that would open the door the kitchen, the only thing between him and the other paladins. He took a deep breath before grasping the knob, turning it slowly and pushing the door-  
“Keith!”  
The sudden sound of a voice behind him made Keith jump, slip, and collide roughly with the ground, sending a piercing pain through his body. Groaning, he peered over to the source of the voice, only to see Pidge standing above him, holding out her hand. Her expression was a curious blend of worried and mischievous. Keith recognised the two emotions separately, however had never seen such a fusion of both on one face. Never had he wished he knew what someone was thinking as much as now.  
Taking her hand, Keith hauled himself to his feet. He made a great fuss of adjusting and dusting non-existent dirt off his clothes, his eyes looking anywhere but Pidge’s face. Now that she knew Keith was unharmed, her lips had slipped into a playful grin, one she wore whenever she knew something that someone else didn’t (which was very often).  
“You’re very late, Keith,” Pidge tut-tutted, shaking her head in disappointment.  
Keith plastered on his usual bored expression, responding with a shrug before turning back to the door. Inhaling sharply, he seized the handle again, his arms quivering slightly. It took several moments of convincing before he opened the door and stepped into the kitchen.  
Pidge studied him closely, noting his hesitation and the way his entire body trembled as he entered the room. Her face contorted in mock sympathy before her wicked smile returned. She skipped happily past him, turning the corner to where Hunk and Shiro were finishing preparations for lunch. She noted that Allura and Coran had joined them and were seated at the table, eagerly awaiting the delicious meal Hunk had concocted. Only five plates had been prepared, meaning that neither Keith nor Lance had been catered for. Pidge’s smile split wider.  
“Keith’s here,” she declared as she entered the room. Shiro lifted his head in recognition, and Hunk sighed as he immediately began preparing another plate.  
Almost on cue, Keith sauntered into the room, trying desperately to conceal the panic and confusion twisting itself into a knot in his stomach. He fought to keep his expression neutral, bored, as he joined the Alteans seated at the table.  
“How come you’ve arrived so late, Keith?” Allura asked, her brilliant accent doing nothing to soothe the fear coursing through his body. He merely shrugged again, not trusting himself to speak. Allura rolled her eyes.  
“Well, I’m glad you decided to join us.”  
Keith smiled meekly and nodded. Allura and Coran returned to their previous conversation, discussing something that sounded distinctly foreign and alien that Keith had absolutely no knowledge of. He gave up trying to decipher their words, instead deciding to listen in to the conversation in the kitchen.  
“I also saw Lance heading to his room.” Keith’s ears immediately focussed when he heard Lance’s name. He felt a sudden, overwhelming sense of joy, followed by dread. If Pidge had seen Lance leaving Keith’s room, then they had definitely been found out. He could only hope that Pidge wouldn’t tell the others.  
Keith heard Hunk’s gruff sigh from the kitchen. “Is he coming, too? Because I don’t want to make another plate and put everything away, and then have to get it all out again to make another plate for him.”  
Pidge made a simple sound as if to say “I don’t know” before grabbing three plates and making her way over to the table. Hunk dismissed her with an exasperated groan. Untying his apron, Hunk left the kitchen, apparently taking it upon himself to ask Lance. Shiro retrieved his own plate and joined the others at the table.  
Keith’s heartbeat quickened at the thought of Lance joining them for lunch, having to act as if everything was normal when he’s right there. As much as he desperately wished to see Lance, he prayed that he would decline Hunk’s offer and stay in his room so that he would not have to see him and pretend that he still despised him, that they were still enemies. That would be too difficult.  
They ate in complete silence, the only sound being forks scraping on plates and an occasional hum of satisfaction. Hunk had prepared lasagne, which he had still managed to make completely delicious even when using alien ingredients. The meal was consumed quickly, with Keith and Shiro finishing in mere minutes.  
That was all the time Keith needed to convince himself that he needed to talk to Shiro. He felt an impossible weight pressing down on his chest, and knew the only way to lighten the load was to tell someone about what he was feeling. Shiro had acted as Keith’s brother almost his entire life, and had been more like family to him than his actual biological family. Keith knew that Shiro would be extremely understanding, and would be able to help him through the hurricane of emotions confined within his head, desperate for release.  
So, as they excused themselves from the table and made their way to the kitchen to rinse off their dishes, Keith grabbed Shiro’s arm a little too tightly and whispered, just loud enough for him to hear; “Can we talk?”


	5. coming out, part 1

Hunk ambled down the hallway, muttering to himself about those ungrateful paladins, they should make me lunch for a change, and I just want to eat the delicious food I made, and why does Lance’s room have to be the furthest from the kitchen?  
Even before he reached Lance’s room, he could hear the sobs, violent and choking and audible from down the corridor. Hunk’s irritation instantly disappeared, replaced by a deep concern for his best friend. He charged down the hallway, pausing for a moment to catch his breath before knocking on Lance’s door. The sobs stopped, Lance’s breath hitching.  
“Go away.” Lance’s voice was rough, thick and heavy with tears. The sound, so different from Lance’s usually upbeat and happy tone, made Hunk shudder.  
“Lance, buddy, it’s Hunk.” He tried to keep the concern and pity from his voice, to keep his tone steady.  
Behind the door, Hunk heard the sound of bedsheets being discarded, of soft footsteps on the ground, of a weak fist slamming softly on the door. Lance’s voice was desperate, impossibly sad when he spoke.  
“Please, Hunk, go away.”  
Placing his hands on the door and dipping his chin, Hunk shook his head. He knew Lance couldn’t see the gesture, but it felt necessary.  
“Lance, let me in.” Somehow, his voice was incredibly stern and desperately soft at the same time.  
Lance sighed from behind the door, deciding it much less effort to just let him in, and the sound of his lock clicking echoed down the hall. Hunk could hear his footsteps moving away, followed by the creak of his bed. He turned the handle and slowly, silently, pushed the door open to see Lance curled up, knees drawn to his chest and chin tucked under, his body trembling violently. His sheets had been discarded on the floor and his jacket had been thrown roughly over the back of his chair. While still incredibly tidy and organised, even this slight mess in Lance’s room was reason for Hunk to be concerned. He closed the door gently behind him, as quietly as possible. Then, swiftly and silently, he made his way to Lance’s bed and sat beside his still quivering body, facing away from him.  
Hunk had always been pretty good at consoling his friends, but something about this situation made him feel somewhat awkward. After all, he had never had to comfort Lance- he was always happy, always joking and playing around. Hunk had no idea what to do in this situation. The blue paladin was still crying, his sobs silent now. Trying to find the correct thing to do with his hands, Hunk settled on rubbing his back in a way he hoped was comforting. Eventually, gradually, Lance’s body stopped trembling and his breathing steadied. Tears continued to cascade down his cheeks, but his sobs stopped, which calmed Hunk slightly.  
Finally, Hunk broke the silence with a simple “hey”, his voice thick with a fondness one could only feel for their best friend.  
Lance tensed at his voice, desperately hoping there would be no “what’s up?” or “talk to me” to follow up. There wasn’t. Hunk understood that Lance would tell him what was wrong when he wanted to, and he was willing to wait until then.  
Slowly, steadily, Lance drew himself up until he was sitting cross-legged. All at once, he turned to Hunk, wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Hunk was slow to react, finally returning the gesture and hugging Lance back. He didn’t mind the incredibly uncomfortable position he was in, or the fact that Lance’s tears were dripping and gathering on his shoulder. All he wanted was for Lance to know, to understand how much he cared about him, and how much it pained him to see his friend in this state.  
Hunk held desperately to Lance, as if he might float away if he didn’t. Lance hugged Hunk as if he was his anchor.  
“Hunk.” Lance’s voice was soft, small, still heavy with tears. Hunk nodded against Lance.  
“I have to tell you something.”  
Lance pulled away from Hunk. The two were now sitting on Lance’s bed, facing each other. Hunk smiled encouragingly, willing Lance to continue. Drawing in a shuddering breath, Lance nodded, more to himself than Hunk.  
“I’m-” Lance’s eyes dropped to his hand, fiddling with his bedsheet. “I think…I think I’m gay.”  
Two thoughts flooded Hunk’s mind simultaneously- Oh, that’s it and Oh, my god. Lance is gay?! He simply stared at Lance in dumb silence, a reaction he knew was definitely making Lance uncomfortable. Shaking his head, Hunk quickly rearranged his thoughts before responding.  
“You’re gay?” He asked, before registering that it was an incredibly stupid question. Lance nodded in response, his cheeks flushing crimson.  
A thought suddenly occurred to Hunk.  
“But what about all those girls you flirted with? And Allura? Aren’t you- I mean, weren’t you…like in love with her?”  
Lance seemed to consider this for quite some time, before nodding in agreement. His face contorted in confusion.  
“How can I be gay, but also like girls? Or, how can I be straight, but also like boys?” Lance seemed to be speaking to himself now, his brows knitted together. “That’s so stupid. That’s not a thing that happens, what is wrong with me…”  
“Bisexual,” Hunk commented, his voice neutral, casual. Lance lifted his head, his gaze questioning. With a quick wave of his hand, Hunk dismissed his quizzical expression.  
“It’s when you’re attracted to boys and girls. Bisexual,” Hunk stated matter-of-factly.  
“Oh.” Smiling softly, Lance nodded, mouthing the word. Bisexual.  
“So,” Hunk started, smiling along with Lance. “You’re bisexual.”  
“I’m bisexual,” Lance agreed. Something about finally having a name, a title, just a word that he could use to describe himself made him feel infinitely freer, lighter. His grin split wider.  
“That’s great, Lance,” Hunk said sincerely, relieved to see Lance smile again. “I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me.”  
Lance nodded. Even though he had never planned on telling anyone this soon, he was happy that he had, and that it was Hunk who he had told.  
“And if you ever need to talk, I’m always here. Probably in the kitchen.”  
His smile growing ever wider, Lance drew Hunk into another tight embrace.  
“I know. Thanks, Hunk.” Lance felt Hunk nod against him. They slowly pulled apart.  
Much to Hunk’s surprise, Lance leapt out of bed, pulled on his jacket, and made his way over to the door. Peering over his shoulder, Lance chuckled at Hunk’s shocked expression.  
“Come on,” he said between laughter. “Aren’t we going to lunch?”


	6. coming out, part 2

Shiro’s room seemed the most suitable place for this conversation, around the corner from the kitchen, where Allura, Pidge and Coran were having a debate about some alien technology Keith had never heard of, and in a completely different corridor from the other paladin’s rooms, where Hunk had still not returned with Lance.  
The sound of Keith’s uneven, quick-paced steps bounced off the walls as he stumbled down the hall, the emotion in his head and adrenaline in his veins making his pace harried and unstable. Shiro managed to keep up with Keith’s frantic stride, remaining by his side even as he stumbled, slowing and speeding up unpredictably. Not a word was spoken between the two boys as they made their way down the corridor. Keith was too afraid to speak before they reached the confines of Shiro’s room for fear the halls would carry his words to the other paladins, and Shiro new better than to ask Keith to talk before he was ready to.  
As they neared the open door of Shiro’s room, Keith’s pace slowed dramatically, almost to the point where he was no longer moving at all. The open door, which should have seemed an invitation to a haven where he could finally share the truth, instead felt like a trap, made to lure him into a false sense of security before all he secrets are exposed. His feet suddenly felt very heavy, and he dragged them along the floor as he, reluctantly, continued towards the door. Shiro noticed the hesitation, which sparked a sudden dread in the pit of his stomach. He was now walking several feet ahead of Keith, whose face was now set in a mask of determination. Reaching the door, Shiro gestured, which a soft kindness only he could muster, for Keith to enter and take a seat. Keith numbly obliged, his feet still dragging as he made his way into the room and collapsed onto the bed. With a language only those as close as brothers could understand, Shiro silently asked if Keith wanted the door closed, to which Keith responded with nothing more than a barely visible nod.  
Shiro settled quietly next to Keith, keeping his knees together and his posture ever straight, making him appear awkward on the edge of the bed. The air between them weighed heavy with confusion and concern, a tension that could easily be described as uncomfortable, but Shiro understood that Keith had to be the first one to speak. He watched the red paladin as he lay sprawled across the bed, inhaling and exhaling shaky breaths. His eyes were squeezed shut, and a crease had formed between his brows that made it appear as though he was suffering through a terrible nightmare. Maybe he was.  
Several minutes passed, and it almost seemed that Keith had fallen asleep on Shiro’s bed when he abruptly opened his eyes and sat straight up. Shiro barely stirred beside him, simply glancing over to see that he was ok. Concern drew worry lines across his face, and he appeared much older than he should. Keith noticed the expression and opted to look elsewhere, deciding Shiro’s gaze would make what he was about to say far more difficult. The room was incredibly bare, which was unsurprising considering that Shiro did very little other than sleep and exercise here. Keith decided to focus his gaze on a small patch of wall where the paint had begun to chip, simply because there was nothing else.  
He inhaled sharply before saying, “ok, there’s something I want to tell you.”  
Shiro nodded encouragingly, still not speaking. He knew Keith needed to say this himself, without any form of help or persuasion.  
Reaching up to adjust his hair, Keith realised that his hands were trembling, and he was subconsciously bouncing his legs off the side of the bed. Everything felt far too fast, far too loud, far too bright. Almost involuntarily, he leapt from the bed and began pacing the length of the room. Shiro still refused to speak, but the worry on his face ran deeper, and he felt his body tense. He had never seen Keith so chaotic, and suddenly the weight of what Keith was about to say felt very heavy on his shoulders.  
“I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while now.” Keith continued pacing as he spoke, his words tripping over each other as they fell from his mouth. His hands still shook violently, but the movement as he paced helped calm him slightly.  
Shiro, deciding now an appropriate time, finally spoke. “You can tell me anything, Keith.”  
Keith turned back to peer at Shiro fondly, a small, trembling smile gracing his lips. He nodded as a response.  
“You’re my brother.”  
Shiro’s words managed to console Keith to a small degree, however fear of his judgement, of how his perception of him would change once he told him still held strong. Keith shook his head in an attempt to organise his thoughts, but they still lay scattered in his brain.  
“I know,” Keith sighed exasperatedly. “But it’s just…I’m scared, Shiro.” His breathing became sharp and hollow, panic seizing his body again. Every time he came close to speaking the words, his mind refused.  
“That’s ok. It’s ok to be scared.” Keith turned his head so he was no longer facing Shiro, nodding numbly as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.  
“I can’t say it out loud,” Keith mumbled to himself, not intending for Shiro to hear.  
“Then don’t.” The rustling of paper behind him was the only indication to Keith of what Shiro meant, his eyes again trained on the chipped paint. “Write it down.”  
Keith’s entire body trembled as he turned, receiving a blank piece of paper and a pen from Shiro’s outstretched hand. The pen refused to follow Keith’s hand, which refused to cooperate with his brain, but somehow he managed to write, in barely legible penmanship: I am gay.  
Keith started at the paper in his hand, at the words he had written on the page. It took a will he didn’t know he possessed not the rip it to shreds. Tears stained the edge of the sheet, and Keith was suddenly aware that he was crying. The entire world fell away, his vision tunnelling on those 3 words.  
A gentle hand fell on his shoulder, and Keith was numbly mindful that Shiro was now standing beside him, and that the paper had crumpled in his hand, concealing the words. He held the page out to Shiro, who took it with a softness that only Shiro could manage. Keith nodded numbly before collapsing back onto the bed, squeezing his eyes, which were now wet with tears, shut again. He noted the sound of paper being unfolded, then silence. Keith counted how long the quiet stretched, far longer than it would take to read those 3 words. His mind seemed to collapse in on itself, leaving him with ringing ears and a splitting headache.  
“Keith.” Shiro’s voice cut through the heavy silence. “Keith, come here.”  
His voice was thick, stern. Keith felt a now familiar panic settle throughout his body, making his limbs feel stiff as he opened his eye and made his way over to Shiro. Tears shimmered in Shiro’s eyes, and his expression was hard. Keith was prepared to turn and run when Shiro suddenly seized him in an embrace that knocked the air from his lungs. It took several moments for Keith’s brain to catch up with what had happened, but when it finally did Keith quickly wrapped his arms around the black paladin. His quiet tears became sobs, and he shook violently in Shiro’s embrace.  
“I love you, Keith. Okay? Please know that.”  
Keith nodded against Shiro’s shoulder. “I know. I know.”


End file.
